A Conversation

On Deconstruction, Dignity, and Compassion

I recently had a conversation with a friend who is on a journey of deconstruction. There are a lot of thoughts “out there” on what deconstruction is and is not. And to be honest, there is a lot at stake for those who begin to ask questions about the belief system they have been handed.

This person shared with me how they grew up in a more conservative theological tradition (usually a term used for western evangelicalism) that prides itself on certainty and rarely leaves room for questions. So, when questions come, the asker meets resistance.

As someone who has been a question asker, I have been met with a variety of responses. When I was more steeped in evangelicalism, most of my questions were met with resistance, gas lighting, and coercion. I was told, “you should ask those things, just trust God.” Or the met with what I call the “evangelical easy button” (reminiscent of the Staples “Easy” Button) and told, “well, God’s ways are not our ways. We just can’t understand God.” I was met with coercion when the leader would begin to offer a slippery-slope warning that if I ask too many questions, I’ll eventually lose my salvation and end up in hell.

Each of these responses are dignity violations. Dignity is comprised of 3 components. The first is agency: the ability for choice. When we dismiss, gas light, or otherwise reject questions we are informing the asker that they are in a space they shouldn’t be. And nobody get’s to should (or shouldn’t) on you. Agency is God-given and God-granted freedom to express, ask, discover, and become. Those who seek to diminish those aspects of your humanity violate the image of God.